Obsessive Blogger. Need I say more?

Saturday, November 7, 2009

a successful day

I don't ever blog anymore. It depresses me a little, but at the same time I realize that I'm a busy person, and blogging isn't a huge priority.

However, I feel like today is important.

I went shopping with Justinne today. We went to Tanger Outlet, but only stopped in one store: Maurices. If you know Justinne at all, you know that she absolutely adores that store. Before going shopping with her all the time, I really could care less about it. But slowly she and I started to share our love for 50% off sales racks and amazing clothes. And the shoes?! Jewelry?! Ah, it's to die for.

Either way, she bought a shit load of clothes. And I bought three shirts. Which are so cute-comfy that I love them to death. Usually you get one or the other: cute or comfy. I hate making that sacrifice, because most of the time I choose comfy and look like really stupid all the time. But I don't really care if I'm comfy. Still, it's nice to look cute sometimes.

Anyways, I bought those shirts and a necklace/earring set. And we stopped at Wal Mart and I bought some comfy shoes, because I'm sick of wearing my nasty old tennis shoes all the time. They look like crap with most of my jeans, so now I'll actually have a pair of shoes worth wearing. At least until it starts snowing. I also bought socks. Which is cool.

After that, we went back to her house and watched Juno. I love Juno, it's one of my favorite movies. And it sort of got me thinking.

In the movie, Vanessa says she was born to be a mother. She is basically obsessed with having a baby. In a way, I feel the same way. For a little over a year I just keep thinking about what it would like to be pregnant and become a mommy. Now, don't get me wrong, I realize it would completely screw up my life. Because of the fact that I would never ever get an abortion, and it would hurt me too much to give my baby up for adoption, I would have to keep it. This would mean no college, and I'd be working constantly just to take care of it. My life would be over.

Still... I think it would be the most amazing experience. Being pregnant would be amazing. Having a child, one who could become all the best parts of me... it would be beautiful. I would make an amazing mom. I know I would do anything for my child. Already, even though I have no child and don't plan on having one until after I turn 23 (because that's what I promised my daddy) I love my child more than myself.

In a way, the things I do now are for my future child(ren). To be honest, I could care less about myself. The only thing I want in my future is the chance to give life and raise someone to be good and decent-- everything I'm not. When I look into my future, the main thing I see isn't a successful career or a happy marriage. I see myself as a mommy. No matter what my life is like, I know that will be the one thing that will for sure happen for me.

Wow, it's pretty pathetic for a 17-year-old with so much potential to be talking like that. But it is so true.

<3 Chelsie